I believe if you devote your energy to these 5 points, you should see drastic improvements in your cold approaches.
1) Be confident
This is the key in unlocking success. Confidence puts you into a powerful internal state from which positive subconscious behaviour flows and is picked up by a woman. Confidence manifests itself in an attractive body stance, slower/smoother speech and magnetic eye contact. Numerous times I have scooped up a few numbers in a row just because I was in a confident state of mind.
You will worry less about what people around you think when approaching. When I first started cold approaching I used to try to keep my voice down or look around to see who was listening. What if they called me out? This affected the quality of my conversation.
Just remember that while a genuine smile and charisma in moderation scores brownie points, don’t be a clown.
2) Tell high quality stories
Many of them. You can’t tell in advance exactly which stories in your toolbox are relevant to the conversation. Initially your stories should be emotionally hard hitting, bubbling over with excitement and fun. All the while showing her who you are as a person (interesting and cool). I am not exaggerating. After soaking up your stories would she rather swipe Tinder on the toilet or hang out with you?
If possible keep story time on the positive side rather than the negative/sardonic side. Seed date venues into stories towards the end of the conversation. Leave her wanting more by leaving out details here and there, baiting her into asking you a personal question. By investing herself into the interaction the chance she’ll want to see you again have shot up like a bitcoin. Now you can ask her out, essentially offering her the chance to be part of an adventure which is, your life.
3) Prolong your conversation
Nurture the ability to ramble non stop for at least 10 minutes about anything. She won’t have a whole lot to say to a random stranger so it is your job to keep the conversation train chugging along until she displays interest by asking you a personal question. Just remember not to be too agreeable in an attempt to keep the conversation afloat.
Sometimes a girl might get so engrossed in the conversation you might feel that the conversation will never end. Know when to pull the plug. It’s better to ask her out on a high note rather than when the conversation fizzles out.
4) Adapt your game to each situation
While you may keep the overall structure of your approach method, there will be times you will benefit from adapting your game to a unique situation that presents itself.
For example, a self imposed rule I had was to avoid meeting up with a girl on the same day we met. I believed the chances of a quality girl being available on the same day was low. Also, wouldn’t asking to meet the same day come across as desperate? I broke this rule one night where I opened a young Dutch girl feasting at a Chinese restaurant. After receiving vibes she was a bored and looking for fun, I suggested getting ice cream post meal. After devouring the ice cream she came back to my apartment that same night to devour something else. I did not educate myself on ‘restaurant game’. My point is that there may be times you’ll be put in an unfamiliar situation where you have to trust your gut and take the plunge. This is how you make chance discoveries of tactics and lines that improve your game.
Another belief I had was to linger around a girls vicinity for a while to make her aware of me before I approached. This was to make her comfortable with my presence and to lower her guard. However, I discovered that on public transport it was better in most cases to open straight away (or earlier). Waiting reduced the amount of conversation time I could have before a girl arrived at her stop. I will throw out some more examples. If she has an interesting prop perhaps you can forego the generic environmental opener (hint: ask her about where she got her bag from). If it feels right go for a hug when you say goodbye (hint: hugging works well for Latinas).
There won’t always be a set formula/progression. Never believe anything too much for if you believe it there will always be a place it doesn’t work.
Successful approaches have a natural feel so you don’t make a girl feel like she’s being ‘picked up’. Listen carefully to what she’s saying (and not saying) to be able to respond appropriately and naturally. The more natural the conversation goes the less likely you will scare her away. When I first started cold approach, I would interrupt a girl with a prepared line or bring up potential mutual connections in an effort to build rapport. The conversation ended up choppy and unnatural. After the approach I would analyse where I went wrong and found that I wasn’t actively listening – your comments, no matter how good have to slot into the flow of the conversation.
Validate her feelings to show you’re listening (“you must have been very surprised when that happened” etc.) to deepen your interpersonal connection with her. After she’s hooked you can reduce your ramble and give her space to talk.